Milk Bar’s Ghoulish Guide to Halloween

Brothers and sisters, join me in rejoicing this spooky holiday and all it stands for, right here in Ye Olde Melbourne.

First up is four days of fright at Luna Park. Between October 28-31, Luna Dark will rekindle your secret fear/hope of being caressed in the ghost train. Families can dress up and enjoy the daylight hours, but when the sun sets the real fun begins. If there were a scarier setting for Halloween shenanigans, I’d like to know about it.

The Carlton (193 Bourke St) is also promising a weekend of sweat, blood and tipple with their Halloween Series. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday all have their own eerie events with DJs lined up — which in this case must stand for Dead Jekyll?

With all those ghouls and goblins roaming about you’ll need all the Dutch courage you can muster and Biero (525 Lt Lonsdale St) will keep you warm inside at Fright Night II on Saturday with beers, jello shots, blood chicken wings, pumpkin curry meatballs, music and a free pot of Blood Taxi for anyone in creepy costumes. 1000 Pound Bend (361 Lt. Lonsdale St) will be getting in on the freaky fun with staff dressing up, disturbing decorations and creepy cocktail jugs.

The zombies will be groaning and shuffling their way to the Owl and the Pussycat (34 Swan St, Richmond) on Saturday. Helping them look their blood-curdling best are some of Melbourne’s best young make-up artists, who will be dolling up the undead for a frightful fashion show where you can vote for the best looking cadaver and kick off the Owl’s hellish Halloween celebrations.

If you picked up some handy haunted hints at the Owl and feel like a bit of evil exercise stagger over to Carlton Gardens on Sunday for the Melbourne Zombie Shuffle and tour of the city with your fellow tourist-scaring sickos.

On Monday the Kodiak Club (272 Brunswick St, Fitzroy) will be holding a Halloween Costume Party at 7pm sharp. This party will rock you and shock you with DJs, prizes, drink specials, freebies and of course amazing Halloween dress ups!

Back in the city Hairy Little Sista (212 Little Collins St) will be hosting their own Dia de los Muertos to help get your freak on, while down at The Bottom End (579 Lt Collins St) they’re decking the halls in spiderwebs for Trip or Treat . No costume no entry, brain-dead bands aplenty and a gory group photo at midnight.

For a change of pace cinefiles can get spooked with The Astor’s celluloid fright fest. On Sunday shuffle along for a George A. Romero’s triple zombie treat with Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead (sadly, no brain flavoured choc ices). The blood chilling terror continues of Cup Eve with a Poltergeist and Carrie devilish double feature.

Happy Haunting!