What A Jerk!

When I think of Jerky I inevitably think of cowboys. I picture the glow of a campfire lighting up a weary traveller’s face as he positions his thin slices of meat over the smoke to cure them. Until now, I hadn’t associated Jerky with the Pick ‘n’ Mix phenomenon from my youth, where you were given a cup, a scoop and five minutes in the lolly store to act like a bee in a frantic pollination orgy. Since visiting Jerky House in the Bourke Street Arcade, it’s all that comes to mind.

The concept is very similar to Pick ‘n’ Mix, except little plastic bags are provided to separate your selections. Aside from the jerked meat there’s biltong, dried fruits, mock meat, nuts, fish – and much to my childhood delight: lollies. Prices are displayed per kilo so make sure the communication between your stomach, brain and wallet are in order otherwise you could be in trouble at the register as you can’t exactly ‘put stuff back’ here. Luckily I never discovered the policy on that.

I circled the store so many times the lady working the counter undoubtedly thought I was helping myself to some dried fish or pork floss. I wanted to explain that I’m just naturally indecisive, but instead just picked up a baggie and tongs and started shopping. I ended up getting beef jerky cubes in three flavours as well as some honeyed pork jerky slices. I have to say, I found the thin slices to have a more pleasant texture than the tougher cubes. I can highly recommend those honey pork slices for a sweet meaty snack!

Like a modern day weary traveller, I was simply too hungry to wait until I got home for dinner, so I helped myself to the baggies of meat while waiting for my train at Flinders Street. I’m sure it looked like I had picked up after a dog and was inspecting the contents, and anyone watching would have gagged as I chewed and smiled.

Jerky House
Shop 5, 206 Bourke Street &
193 Lonsdale Street
Melbourne, 3000
Open 7 days – 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
www.jerkyhouse.com.au