Holding the Man

Timothy Conigrave’s memoir Holding the Man is a beautiful and ultimately heartbreaking story of two men and their enduring love tested by family disapproval, the liberty of adulthood, and finally, death. After a sold-out season in 2022, Taylor Made Productions has brought back Tommy Murphy’s stage adaptation of Holding the Man for a well-deserved encore at Chapel Off Chapel.

Over the span of 15 years, Timothy Conigrave and John Caleo navigate the nuances of a queer relationship on the backdrop of a changing Australia during the 70s and 80s, during one of the darkest times in LGBTQIA+ history. Holding the Man typically conjures a visceral and moving response from audience members because of the universality of accepting one’s sexuality at high school and oscillating between the expectations of societal structures – family values, gender norms, religion – and being proud of who you are.

So, with these themes in mind, this is where we meet Timothy Conigrave and John Caleo, played superbly by Declan Clifford and Jack Stratton-Smith. Both at Xavier College, Tim is in the drama scene and John is a footy star. Tim has a crush on John and sits next to him in class, leaving notes and other messages on his pencil case. A spark between the pair ignites when they share a kiss at a dinner orchestrated by Tim’s best friend Juliet. From there, Tim and John fall deeper in love, slowly coming out to their mates. One day, John’s father Bob finds a stack of letters, presumably explicit in nature, and forbids John to see Tim. John then seeks refuge at Juliet’s house and her mum comes to the rescue, defending the boys against Bob.

Overcoming the obstacles of coming out, Tim and John graduate from high school and are now university students at Monash University. Tim experiences a sexual awakening, flooring John when he asks for a trial separation when he is accepted into NIDA in Sydney. A number of years pass, and Tim and John get tested for HIV, and both test positive. John is shocked as he has only slept with one other man. Tim, on the other hand, grapples with the guilt of infecting John. With their condition deteriorating, John and Tim care for each other and defend their love to their final moments.

Overall, this adaptation of Holding the Man does the story justice and is an excellent piece of theatre. The tone of the two acts is quite stark, almost like separate plays connected by the lead cast. Act One is very light-hearted, innocent and romantic. It is primarily about two young men who experience love and sex for the first time, and against all odds, survive. Act Two is darker and incredibly sad for obvious reasons.

Declan Clifford and Jack Stratton-Smith were terrific and mesmerising as Tim and John, who were supported by incredible and entertaining ensemble cast members Melina Mylie, Scott Jackson, Ryan Henry and Morgan Dooley-Axup. Ryan Henry, as Juliet’s mother and Biscuit, was incredible – stealing most of the scenes he was in with his dry wit, comedic timing and expressions.

Holding the Man is a story of the resilience of the human spirit, the power of love, and the importance of self-acceptance.

Holding the Man
Chapel Off Chapel, 12 Little Chapel Street, Prahran, 3181
On stage until Saturday 1 April 2023