The Best Places To Pick Up In Melbourne

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Most people would agree that it can be pretty daunting chatting someone up during a night on the town. Unless you’re six vodka cranberries deep or have the ‘moves like Jagger’ (sorry, I had to. Damn you maroon 5.), making the first move has been known to cause a sweaty upper lip and some serious anxiety. Alas, match-making mobile app Tinder came along and ruined all the fun of striking up a real conversation. Whilst Tinder took the stress out of dropping the first pick up line, it also took away the opportunity for that initial, face-to-face connection. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned and meeting a guy or gal in the flesh. I’ve drawn from my own personal experience as a total heartthrob and those of my closest girlfriends and some, well, randoms, to talk about the best places to ‘pick up’ in the City of Melbourne.

A Nightclub
Put on your Kookai dress ladies and rock those chino’s fellas because this is probably one of the easiest places to find a tonsil hockey opponent. Buuut, that being said, it’s also a bit of a cop out. Actually, I did meet my current boyfriend on a night out at good ole’ Seven Nightclub. That was after a boozy day at the races (another great place to pick up a stallion- take note ladies). Sink the trackside champers and use that liquid courage to strike up a conversation. Some other nightclubs where you will be able to pick up include Mynt Lounge in Werribee, Orange Whip in Ringwood (really young crowd), TRAK in Toorak, Eve in Southbank and the list can go on…nightclubs really spoil you for choice sometimes.

A Park Where People Take Their Dogs
So this might seem a little strange, but according to an anonymous source, my Mum’s friend Julie, the park is a hotspot for more than just dogs. Approached by a retriever owning male, Julie picked up more than just her dogs droppings that day. Go girl. However if you don’t have a dog, maybe don’t go, you’ll look creepy. Some great parks where good-looking people with even better personalities and some canine company frequent are Queens Park in Moonee Ponds, Como Park in South Yarra, Norton’s Park in Wantirna South and Burns Reserve in Altona. However, one of my personal faves is the dog beach in Brighton…if you have a dog, you have a chance.

The Beach
For this particular location, I took inspiration from my good friend Marita. This 6ft, bronzed blonde, who is also a personal trainer, (I know, I hate her too) met her current boyfriend Mark on the beach over a year ago today. Approached by a flurry of speedo-clad males trying to rub in her sunscreen, this absolute catch said it all came down to Mark’s approach. “He only asked for the time, not my number straight off the bat.”  Last time I went to the beach I was doing some fending off too. You wouldn’t believe how many seagulls were trying to steal my chips. Some great little pick ups are any of the beaches along Brighton, whether that be at the Baths, Half Moon, Brighton itself; If you head down the peninsula towards Frankston, Rye, Sorrento and Portsea in the summer months you are spoiled for choice. Hot tip: the further down the peninsula you get, the better quality the fish become.

Now these are only a few examples from people I have met along the way but nothing trumps the story of how my friend’s parents met.

Being on a blind date with someone else, but locking eyes with the person on the table next to you…who is also on a blind date
My friend’s parents are definitely up there with one of the most romantic meeting stories of all time. At a cosy Italian restaurant in Carlton fifteen years ago, Adam and Eve*, were on relatively dull dates when they spotted each other at opposite tables. When the pair realised that their respective dates were going horribly wrong, a chance meeting in the bathroom provided an exciting opportunity. For those of you with your heads in the gutter, the encounter that night resulted in nothing more than an exchange of numbers. 15 years later, they’re happier than ever. I have since been caught glaring at a number of males in public places and creating awkward silences in bathrooms.

So there you go, here are just a few places to pick up around Melbourne, go forth my friends.

*not real names

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