It’s Easy Being Green

04. Apr, 2011

It’s been a Brunswick favourite for years, renowned for its big servings, freshly-baked muffins and lack of street signage. In a city where new cafes pop up with the regularity of a committed All-Bran eater, Green Refectory, or simply Green, has become a tried and true pit stop on Melbourne’s cafe circuit. Last week I popped in with a friend for a gander and some grub.

Lunchtime on Friday and Green is packed, the atmosphere buzzing as staff whiz by delivering the signature massive meals. Offering an all-day breakfast on top of lunch stuff like home-made pies, sandwiches, soups, muffins, salads, specials of the day and even sushi it’s easy to feel a little spoiled for choice.

My under-the-weather friend goes for the Big Breakfast ($15), while I throw my lot in with the Chicken Burger ($10) because I’ve never had one before (and a McChicken doesn’t count).

We pass the resident cat sunning itself on the stairs and grab a table in the cheerful courtyard out back. My Chicken Burger consists of a plump breast, bacon, regular and sun-dried tomatoes, avocado, spinach and mayo between two hefty slices of white bread. It’s miles better than a McChicken, and I could go on, but everything gets overshadowed by the spectacle that is my friend’s meal.

I don’t want to accuse Green of false advertising, but big breakfast is a slight misnomer. It should have been called biggest breakfast, because aside from the time the 13 year-old me stacked up his plate at the Hilton’s Breakfast Buffet to make Mount Eggsverist, I’ve never seen its equal.

Grilled tomatoes, haloumi, mushrooms, spinach, avocados, a lone sausage, wedge of lemon and two poached eggs atop a slice of toast the size of a chopping board. A fry-up in the best sense of the word, it’s the type of meal management should offer an ‘I Survived’ t-shirt to those able to get through it. My friend did, just. I asked for his autograph.

It’s easy eating at Green. Finishing, now that’s the problem.